"Letting be what we are entrusted with loosens depression's grip even if it does not go away. Again, the contemplative maxim: we let be whatever is simply because it is. Other actions proceed from this."
A couple Saturday's ago I had the opportunity to hear Martin Laird, an Augustinian monk and teacher, lecture from his new book, An Ocean of Light. And he said something that really got on my nerves. He encouraged those of us for whom "depression and its friends have claimed squatters' rights" to "get to know the contours of your depression." In his book he frames it this way, "it is important for us to get to know our depression in intimate detail."
How could we not know our depression? We know it all too well. We've seen it, heard it, smelled it, tasted it, touched it. We've read about it; talked about it; paid good money to understand it and let it go. I don't want to give it any more time and energy than it already has. What is he talking about?
I don't know, but over the past two weeks that phrase, "get to know the contours of your depression," has opened up as a window. I've got a little more fresh air. It's cold air, but its fresh.
In the type of silent prayer he teaches, when we become entangled in a thought or feeling, we gently return to our prayer word or breath, letting that thought or feeling go its merry way. I would have anticipated Laird to advocate a similar approach to living with resistant depression.
It could be that depression is too close, too intimate and familiar. Too intertwined with daily life to see. Perhaps that is what he's getting at. Perhaps I have on a depression mask, and without a mirror the only part I see is the tip of my mask's nose. If I'm crammed into a box with depression, I can see it, touch it, etc, but it might help to open up the box and give us both a more space and perspective.
Or perhaps he's questioning the objectification of our experience. Instead of experiencing depression as something happening to me, take time to simply experience myself depressing, or experience myself happening depressively. But don't we do that already? As a friend once said regarding his depression, "my favorite past-time is sitting in my room existing...because it's so hard." I dunno. We'll see. I'm just going to keep going with the silent prayer, thanks be to God for that. "Other actions proceed from this."
The Kingdom Within: The Inner Meaning of Jesus' Sayings - John Sanford
Not as super cool as I was hoping, but a lot of good stuff. It's a Jungian dream-work approach to Jesus' sayings and parables.
- "In order to lift water up from a well, it is necessary to have a rope long enough to reach the water. The teachings of Jesus are such a rope."
- mysterion - initiated knowledge
- "the kingdom and healing go together"
- "In our dreams the kind of house we have typically symbolizes our conscious framework."
- "The more we are identified with a mask, the more the unconscious will set up an opposing viewpoint in the form of an inner enemy."
- "we will surely incur inner judgment if we stand in judgment on others"
- "perfect" - brought to fulfillment, complete
- "It's not too much to say that Satan is the archetype of choice."
- "The soul's primary function is relationship" (anima/us, eros)
- "Salvation comes from the Samaritan"
- "We cannot sacrifice what we do not have" (need a strong ego to submit)
- "the kingdom...can only be expressed in symbols"
Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality - Richard Rohr
Rohr rambles. It can be frustrating. I don't even know why he bothers with a table of contents. But that's part of his charm and generosity. Is there such a thing as a Franciscan literary style. Un-self-consious, open, kinda messy, compassionate. He always finds himself somewhere beautiful.
- "We all need forever what Jesus described as the beginner's mind of a curious child."
- "...one of God's favorite and most effective hiding places - humility"
- "Love is the true goal, but faith is the process of getting there, and hope is the willingness to live without resolution or closure."
- "Jesus offers himself as 'way, truth and life,' and suddenly it has all become the sharing of our person instead of any fighting over ideas."
- "...in a position to read the Scriptures in a humble, needy, inclusive and finally fruitful way..."
- "Why do we not use Peter's power of the keys to unbind the world in this way, and to offer it the full victory of God's love? Why do we prefer binding to unbinding"
The Words of Jesus: A Gospel of the Sayings of our Lord - Phyllis Tickle
In the beginning I wasn't a fan of the way she frames Jesus' words. For example, "Jesus, upon being told that His mother and siblings were in the crowd and desired His attention, said..."
I would have kept "Jesus said" as an inseparable unit. On the other hand, having "Jesus" be the first word in every segment is cool too. It grew on me.
Her introduction is more memoir than analysis, fyi. I love this as an exercise - copy and group all of Jesus words, or parables, or sayings, or what have you. I started my personal "sayings gospel" back in March, but never finished. It's not too late!
Little Russion Philokalia: Vol 1. St Seraphim - Translated by Hieromonk Seraphim Rose
- "becoming so immersed in God's word that one learns to 'swim in the law of the Lord'" (Rose)
- "the works of faith are: love, peace, long-suffering, mercy, humility, rest from all works, bearing the Cross, and life in the Spirit.
- "a man who has taken upon himself to travel the path of internal mindfulness must have above all the fear of God, which is the beginning of wisdom
- "Reverent carefulness is necessary here because this sea - that is, the heart, with its thoughts and desires, which one must cleanse by means of mindfulness - is great and vast, and there are numberless reptiles there
- "Those who have truly decided to serve the Lord God should practice the remembrance of God and uninterrupted prayer to Jesus Christ, mentally saying: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
- "all saints...have spent their whole lives in weeping...
- "As fire purifies gold, so the sorrow of longing for God purifies a sinful heart.
- despondency, straightness of soul, a foretaste of hell, delirium, anxiety, temptation, etc...for there is one treatment for all this...meekness of heart
- "for where humility issues forth, there the glory of God abounds
- revived by patience
- "most of all one should occupy oneself with reading the New Testament and the Psalter, which one should do standing up
- "though Satan might produce also visions of light, he is entirely unable to produce a blessed effect; which is the well known sign of his works.
- "one should not undertake ascetic labors beyond one's measure, but one should strive to make our friend - the flesh - faithful and capable of performing virtues.
- "perhaps one has eaten too much, or done something similar to this which is natural to human weakness - do not be disturbed at this, and do not add injury to injury; but bestir yourself to correction and at the same time strive to preserve peace of soul
- "In whatsoever I find you, in that will I judge you (Jesus via St Justin)
- "trade with those [virtues] which give you the greatest profit
- "the wisdom of God, which seeks our salvation and embraces everything
- "...This knowledge [which does not puff up], which is full of love for God and for our neighbor, builds up every man for his salvation
- "He who walks around the canal with prayer and 150 Theotokos and Virgin Rejoice, for him this place will be Athos, Jerusalem and Kiev
