A couple years back, the Ruah class gave a poster sized print of an icon similar to this for the prayer room off the chapel. It's centered above the hefty old Monumental Church altar.
When I first saw it I didn't realize it depicted the Transfiguration; I was thinking more along the lines of Judgment Day. Three dudes getting stabbed in the eye - ouch! - disoriented and falling off the page. They must be going to hell. Their postures of dramatic defeat reminded me of a mosaic I saw in Patmos, depicting St John defeating a magician and his demon buddy.
But when I looked again I recognized Moses and Elijah, up top hanging out with Jesus. Whoa. Is this what enlightenment looks like? Getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick? Here's Saul, becoming Paul, getting smacked in the face himself. I'm not sure I'm ready for all of that.
Waking up is a bear. Or waking up is fine, but not when you're a hungry, half-in-hibernation bear.
It's like nails across the chalkboard. Not enough air in the room. Caught in a web of cold rusty chain links. Open the door of consciousness...guilt, shame, failure, craving, anger, anxiety are usually my first visitors (did I ask to wake up? and who invited all these jerks?). Some mixture of chemical depression and anxiety and just general confusion. Yuck, tastes bad.
But life is good, ya know? I pray to learn to wake up more peacefully and enthusiastically, but in the meantime I'm grateful to wake up one way or the other. Help us, Lord.
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
To sing praises to you name, O Most High;
To declare your lovingkindness in the morning,
And your faithfulness by night,
To the music of the lute and the harp,
To the melody of the lyre.
For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work;
At the works of your hands I sing for joy." (92:1-3)
"My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed;
I will sing and make melody.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, O harp and lute!
I myself will waken the dawn" (57:7-8 or 108:1-2)
"Give ear to my words, O Lord;
give heed to my sighing.
Listen to the sound of my cry,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.
O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice;
In the morning I plead my case to you, and watch" (5:1-3)
"But I call upon God,
And the Lord will save me.
Evening and morning and at noon
I utter my complaint and moan,
And he will hear my voice." (55:16-17)
"With my whole heart I cry;
Answer me, O Lord,
I will keep your statutes.
I cry to you; save me,
That I may observe your decrees.
I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I put my hope in your words.
My eyes are awake before each watch of the night,
That I may meditate on your promise.
In your steadfast love hear my voice;
O Lord, in your justice preserve my life." (119:145-149)
"Rouse yourself! Why do you sleep, O Lord?
Awake, do not cast us off forever!
Why do you hide your face?
Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?
For we sin down to the dust;
Our bodies cling to the ground.
Rise up, come to our help.
Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love." (44:23-26)
"Wake up! Bestir yourself for my defense,
For my cause, my God and my Lord!
Vindicate me, O Lord, my God, according to your righteousness,
And do not let them rejoice over me." (35:23-24)
"Then the Lord awoke as from sleep,
Like a warrior shouting because of wine.
He put his adversaries to rout;
He put them to everlasting disgrace." (78:65-66)
"Yours is the day, yours also the night;
You established the moon and the sun.
You have fixed all the bounds of the earth;
You made summer and winter." (74:16-17)
"But I, O Lord, cry out to you;
In the morning my prayer comes before you.
O Lord, why do you cast me off?
Why do you hide your face from me?" (88:12-14)
"I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, for the Lord sustains me.
I am not afraid of ten thousands of people
who have set themselves against me all around." (3:5-6)
"Morning by morning I will destroy all the wicked in the land,
Cutting off all evildoers from the city of the Lord." (101:8)
"You have made the moon to mark the seasons;
The sun knows the time of its setting.
You make darkness, and it is night,
When all the animals of the forest come creeping out.
The young lions roar for their prey,
Seeking their food from God.
When the sun rises, they withdraw
And lie down in their dens.
People go out to their work
And to their labor until the evening." (104:19-23)
"It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
Eating the bread of anxious toil;
For he gives sleep to his beloved." (127:2)
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
And in his word I hope;
My soul waits for the Lord
More than sentries for the morning
More than sentries for the morning." (130:5-6)
"If I take the wings of the morning
And settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
Even there your hand shall lead me,
And your right hand hold me fast." (139:9-10)
"Answer me quickly, O Lord;
My spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me,
Or I shall be like those who go down to the Pit.
Let me hear of your lovingkindness in the morning, for in you I put my trust.
Teach me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." (143:7-8)
"Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones,
And give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment;
His favor lasts a lifetime.
Weeping may linger for the night,
But joy comes with the morning." (31:4-5)
"Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night declares knowledge." (19:2)
"Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
Teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
For you are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all day long." (25:5)
"You sweep them away;
They are like a dream,
Like grass that is renewed in the morning;
In the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
In the evening it fades and withers." (90:5-6)
