Garden drama 2

Judgment Day

   The only thing King El liked about Judgment Day was the beard oil. He didn't care for the heavy robe, the pompous procession that tradition insisted on - trumpets, the high priestess and her lamp, the chief noble and his golden scales, the warrior and his sword. He didn't like sitting for hour after hour on the stone Judgment Seat in the middle of the city gates, in the heat of the day no less (of course he had attendants with shades and fans, but still...it gets hot). He hated all the bickering between brothers, accusing neighbors, resentful lawsuits, the pitiful pleading of widows and orphans. Blah blah blah. Why did I conquer this country again?
  But the beard oil, that was his Judgment Day solace. Except for old uncle Jah, El surely had the most beautiful beard in the land: black as night, long as his arm, thick and curly as strongest wool. And after his maidservant oiled it into ringlets and tied three golden ribbons at its base, El truly felt like a king. The sun shimmered along its glossy black curls and jumped off the golden cloth.
   El sat on the stone seat, really just a square rock, and the high priestess called out, "The flame of truth!" Then the chief noble, "The scales of justice!" And the warrior, "The sword of judgment." And King El, stifling a yawn, with a disinterested wave to the crowd, "My word is law."
   "Your honor," said the head secretary, "first we have three petty thieves, by name, Adama, Evela, and Snaku, who were caught this very day, in the act of stealing from the royal library."
   El, who loved nothing more than sitting in the garden with a novel, perked up as the soldiers dragged three skinny peasants and threw them to the ground before him, "Really? I was just there this morning and didn't see anything missing. What section was the book from?"
   Secretary, "Law and ethics, your honor."
   El, "Ug, boring, no wonder I didn't notice. Remind me the punishment."
   Secretary, "Immediate execution."
   El turned to the warrior, "Well, you heard him, chop chop chop."
   Somehow Snaku managed to slip the gag out of his mouth, "Mercy your honor! Mercy oh bearded one!"
   The soldiers moved quickly to silence Snaku but El felt like humoring him. "Hold, I will hear his appeal."
   "Oh King of Kings," crooned Snaku, "full of goodness as glorious as your beard, we three lowly peasants only sought to taste a morsel of your great wisdom."
   El raised an eyebrow. "For what would you need wisdom? You know your work; peasants have grown olives, grapes, and wheat for thousands of years."
  Snaku nodded his head in the dust, prostrate before the King, "Yes yes of course, your Majesty. But we thought, we thought that, oh Father of Justice, that we could better serve you if we knew how to act as righteously as you do. If we knew the law of good and evil, then perhaps we could love mercy and do justice in your honor."
   El almost laughed, "Clever boy, you have a smooth tongue. More likely you want books of law to learn to govern yourselves. Besides, who taught you to read? That is a crime in itself, is it not?"
   The secretary interjected, "Indeed it is, your Majesty, punishable by twenty lashes. But these criminals waste your time. They were caught in the act."
   "Thank you, Secretary," said El, frowning. "I'll decide what is or isn't a waste of my time."
  Snaku, "Oh Mercy, King, beard of wonders, forgive my curiosity. I love to read, as I have heard that your Majesty does; my late mother taught me the alphabet. Oh please, have mercy on us and descended to spread just a little of your learning and law. Perhaps we ignorant subjects will cause fewer problems for you."
   El stroked his beard, sighed and looked off at some circling buzzards on the horizon. "There may be something in what you say. For your cleverness I will spare you and send you into exile. Your dumb friends, however, must die."
  Snaku rose to his knees, his arms bound but outstretched. "Thank you thank you oh great King of all bearded Kings, but have mercy on my friends! It was I who talked them into seeking this book. I promised that I would teach them to read and hoped we could spread the knowledge, always to your glory, of course! Have mercy!"
   El was ready to move on, "Fine, but only because I like you, you, what was your name? Snaku. But you must pay for your friends' lives. Cut off his hands and feet! All three are exiled into the wilderness. My word is law. Next!"
   The the cords above Snaku's wrists and ankles were already as tight as possible, and the warrior's sword was sharp and his cut clean. Adama and Evela carried Snaku all the way to the little wilderness village beyond country's border. They lived in peace, as far as possible, and Snaku started a school for the village children, teaching them to read with the handful of pages he had torn from the book of law and hidden under his tunic.